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PodTube is hosted by a hosting company named ZemHost. Their service is post to host, which means you must meet a one-time post requirement on their forums to get free web hosting. With this free hosting, you get a wide variety of amazing stuff, like:

• cPanel [picture] [demo]
• Up to unlimited disk space and bandwidth
• Up to unlimited subdomains, addon domains, parked domains
• Up to unlimited MySQL databases
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You also get amazing support. Their staff is on the forums almost all the time that the average American would be awake, and they can usually make accommodations for you if you need something besides the aforementioned features.

http://www.zemhost.com/

I am malicious. I will put death cream in your freezer and pudding on your floor. I exhale anthrax, and I spit pure venom. I am the ender of life. The bringer of death.

It's the first public release of a small project I've been working on in my spare time called Unbased Forum. It doesn't use a database for storage, instead, it stores threads and other information in small files. As it's still very very beta, I advise you not use it for anything public. Here's a feature list:

• Semi-secure Admin Control Panel
• bbCodes like these:
  • Bold [b]text[/b]
  • Italics [i]text[/i]
  • Links [url]http://podtube.us.to[/url]
• Smilies
• Thread creation
• Replies to threads
• Remembrance of username from page to page

I hope it gets better in the future. Until then, here's a demo and a beta.

Demo: http://flatfileforum.podtube.us.to/
Download: http://flatfileforum.podtube.us.to/downloads/unbased_1.2b.zip

Another school writing. The first thing I did.

Hello, ma'am!

If you are consuming the words emblazoned in black upon this petty piece of pale paper, you must want to get to know me - or Miss [redacted] is asking you to do it. Either way, my life isn't too terribly exciting, and as such not much will be revealed. I know, I know, I'm a mystery.

When indulging in textual media, I prefer amusingly tragic realistic fiction over anything else. I also enjoy reading political fiction for reasons I can't quite describe. However, most non-fiction or even historical fiction manifestos choke me with a cold dusty feeling akin to being smothered with a cat's rear end. When I write junk, it's either moderately hilarious or a complete failure, depending on what I'm supposed to be writing about. Most of the time my writings are confusing, but this one gets a 73 on the Flesch reading ease scale, which means even an 11-year-old can figure it out.

My personality is like a rubber spork, though I like to pretend otherwise. I am non-toxic most of the time, can bend for special situations, and am completely useless. I have also been told that I need to learn respect. If you ask me, respect is something you earn, not something I learn. However, people aren't always that intelligent about it. Speaking of intelligence, I have been informed that I am quite smart, which makes me a nerd as well. That's an unfortunate consequence, I suppose. As for my weaknesses, you could say that I have a somewhat difficult time getting along with some people, which is really quite sad for them. I guess I'm annoying. Additionally, if you haven't already figured this out, I am extremely arrogant.

When I'm semi-isolated at my house, I prefer eating to sleeping and playing to working. Since my day is so empty because I enjoy procrastinating, I complain about how bored I am and beg to go to a friend's house or a movie theater. Sometimes I program web sites, play games, watch TV, and chat with friends on the computer. I had also made a hobby out of wearing my watch even though it's broken. Then I lost it. Oddly enough, losing it made it non-wearable.

I befriend people who remind myself of me purely for the reason that I like me. This means that my social spectrum is very narrow, but I don't mind at all.

Now that you've read this not-too-large wall of text, you should know me like you're my brother - or sister, as the case may be. If you think this document was bland and poorly written, blame that on the fact that I have nothing interesting in my life - or do I?

Sincerely,
Myself

I'm actually kinda proud of this one, even though it's remarkably lackluster and contains several mistakes.

Public schools in the United States of America are depressing to observe. Massive wastes of your money and our time. Is this what our government is supposed to provide for us?

Time management is one of the most outstanding crises. Let's be generous and say that people of slightly above average intelligence spend 15 minutes learning in each 55 minute class, excluding 50 minute connections (electives), where time spent learning is often less than 10 minutes. Already, we can calculate that on a schedule with 4 classes and 2 connections, 4 hours are wasted per day. Now, let us factor in the 45-minute "Extended Learning Time" (ELT) and a 30-minute lunch. Neither one of these result in much education, not even ELT. 5 hours and 15 minutes wasted per 7-hour school day. Over the course of an average 180-day school year, people of an intelligent caliber end up wasting nearly a thousand hours of their lives, wallowing in classrooms filled with ignorant fools.

Some people might argue that those mentally challenged folk need the extra time to let information soak in. It is true that people absorb information at different rates. However, this does not mean that the weakest links in the proverbial chain of students should bring the whole thing down. Instead, there should be 3 levels of classes: one for those who don't know and won't understand, one for those who have the capacity to learn and do after a while, and one for those who not only know, but can learn from what they know and want to know more.

The budget could also use a bit of change. It is segmented into disproportionate mounds of money per group of goods. Technology, for example, gets thousands and thousands of dollars per year to spend on massive touchscreens and high-quality projectors, while our teachers still don't have enough paper to go around. Most of this superfluous stuff is meant to show how good at teaching the staff is - "Look! Our kids can do fancy light-writing on a touchscreen! Why use whiteboards when you can never have to buy markers again for only a few thousand dollars per classroom?"

Sadly, the staff doesn't even know how to operate these new-fangled inventions half of he time. Recently, we splurged your tax dollars on plasma screen TVs mounted around the school, with matching computers to feed them streaming news from the media center. They haven't worked for months, and just sit there displaying an advertisement for MediaCast, the school's incompetent media service.

Additionally, the school spends quite a bit of money on substitutes, who stand in for teachers when they can not teach for one reason for another. Sadly, these substitutes serve no purpose in the classroom, as they are usually just old people who know nothing about the subject they are 'teaching' and most likely only signed up for the job because they needed some extra cash. Interview them. If you're going to let the people who get paid for helping us learn skip school because they're sick, at least do some fancy background checks on our babysitters, alright?

Next time you have a chance to change the way this country educates its future, please make the right choice. Vote so that we can have the kind of education that children in other countries receive - not by increasing school hours, not by buying us pointless shiny toys, but by teaching us, just as our parents were taught before us.

This is another short thing I wrote for school. Don't be misled by the title, I don't actually go around beating the womens up.

I have a friend who also happens to be a member of the female gender. She maintains that ladies should be put first, guys shouldn't hit girls, and that respect is something mainly for women. According to her, it is "sexist" to disagree with these statements. But wait a minute - isn't sexist generally defined as "discriminatory behavior towards members of the opposite sex"? If I'm reading that correctly, then women should be treated exactly the same as men, with no special treatment or preference.

Take not hitting girls as an example. Everybody says that hitting girls is wrong - why? Doesn't the Bible, from which many modern laws are derived from, say that an "eye for an eye" is the way to go? So why are ladies exempt from this? There can only be two moral reasons for this: a. women are always weaker than men no matter what or b. it damages them more than it would damage the issuer of the pain. Since I know several girls who could surely beat me up given the correct circumstances and my physical protests would have barely an effect on their pummeling, both of those reasons can be immediately taken out of consideration.

So why, then, is this treatment preferred in modern society? If you ask me, it's because a group of desperate old-timey folks decided that if they treated women like they were better than everybody else then maybe (just maybe) they could get married and what-not. Or alternatively it's just a social standing sort of thing - the average person is subject to his or her own crippling phobias of being labeled sexist, and as such, will go out of their way to make sure everyone knows that he or she is taking good care of his or her fellow humans.

This is not to say that it should be against principle to do these things for people that one is fond of. No, no, that is perfectly dandy, it's when you treat everybody like same that unfairness occurs. Favors are earned, not given.

Oh, and by the way, please don't think that this only applies to women - it applies to members of the male gender as well. It's just that women get the good side of it. A man is expected to do the heavy lifting, earn the money for a family, et cetra. Got a bug in the house? The guy squishes it. TV not working? The guy messes with the receiver. Both genders are completely capable of all of these tasks.

If we adhere to the basic laws of fairness and good mannerisms, we can create a better society. Men, don't listen to women if there's no incentive. Women, don't listen to men if there's no incentive. Unless you're just feeling nice.

Also, I stole the words right out of a bro's mouth in the third paragraph. Sorry.

Warning - most of this is just lies and conjecture I had to write for school. If you're wondering why it goes so off-topic, it's because we had to use certain words in it or else we would fail.

For thousands of year, man has looked for a weapon to best this foul beast known as "aging," and I think I have found it. Me, only me, in my 3' by 4' lab that reeks of soap, I have found the solution! Beware of what you read beyond this paragraph, it may shock you into oblivion.

The meds are composed of C8H10N4O2, which stands for the atoms carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen, which contain electrons, protons, neutrons, and nuclei. These are a group of elements in the periodic table that create an extremely strong stimulant when combined, which centigrams of which could render one unconscious - or even make their heart explode. When given in daily doses of 600mg, this common chemical can cause inflammation of thyroids. This causes hair loss, which is a desirable trait, contrary to common belief. In most cases, hair will even stop growing temporarily, which is even better!

So you might be asking, "Why in the world do we want to lose our hair and potentially even prevent it from growing back?" Well, you see, hair is literally deadly - composed of deceased cells from all parts of your body. Near the roots, you can often find that there are cells which would've lived if not for their premature extraction. If these cells are retained, say, by stopping head excretion, then the system will shed less unnecessary life, and as a result, organs will live longer.

Since this will also stimulate the human growth hormone (also known as HGH), people will grow at faster rates. This will accommodate any unused cells, so you won't get all clogged up.

You might be wondering what happens to the cells that actually happen to be dead. Well, they should actually get pushed out through your skin. Don't worry, this is completely normal and happens on a daily basis.

To test this, I will need a group of college students (they'll do anything for money.) Also, they're in their prime, so results from this solution should show up quickly. It will be tested following the scientific method. Since we have already questioned and hypothesized about this, the next step is to test injecting people with daily 600mg doses of this concoction. Afterwards, we will analyze the results. If this indeed does not kill them and instead promotes a healthy lifestyle, then we will write a paper to communicate the results. If the test subjects do end up dying horrific deaths, then we should probably not test again and communicate results so that the scientific world does not make another ghastly mistake.

Be warned, however - side effects of this thing include extreme acne and, of course, hair loss. The solution? Wigs and lots of makeup.

Without 4 very smart people, I would not have been able to describe this idea in such a scientifically accurate fashion. Democritus, for example, first came up with the idea of the atom. Dalton expanded on this. He knew that substances could be formed by joining one or more elements, and he concluded that everything is made up of atoms. Actually, he was kinda wrong on the latter - as Thomson proved in his cathode-ray experiment, the atoms are themselves made up of subatomic particles or ions. To make all the concepts easier to understand, Mendeleev constructed the periodic table of the elements, which organizes the elements we know today into groups and rows with similar characteristics.

If given a choice, I would not take this this until others went before me. I'm kind of a coward. Either that, or I don't want to kill myself accidentally and go down in history as the kid that overdosed on caffeine. Yes, that's right. The elusive mystery chemical is caffeine to the extreme. Equivalent to over 10 cups of coffee per day. Good luck.